Years ago a billionaire friend of mine said to me “Tom, 5 years from now your income will be the average of your five best friends.” I also remember my parents saying to me as a young child ” You are who you hang around with.” My friend and my parents are all very smart people who have achieved great success in their lives, and over time I have found profound truth to this wise bit of advice. Since applying this concept to my life I now make more money, have better physical and emotional health, and have developed deeper and more satisfying relationships with those people in my circle of influence.

When listening to world famous motivational speaker Les Brown speak live at a conference, I heard him use the acronym OQP or Only Quality People. He could not stress enough, how important it was to surround yourself with only quality people. He said “If your the smartest person in your group, you need to find a new group”. He said “If your the strongest one in your group, you need to find a new group”. I think we can, without permission, take that a step further and say “If your the most happiest and most successful person in your group, you need to find a new group”. Why is this so important? Let me explain.

In every relationship in your life there exists a struggle of influence. Meaning, when you engage in any form of regular communication with another person wither it be physical, verbal, non-verbal, spiritual or otherwise, you are affecting, and are being affected by, that person in either a positive or negative manner.

Think of a relationship as an ice cube in a cup of hot water. Lets say the water in the cup is 130 degrees Fahrenheit and the ice cube is around 28 degrees Fahrenheit. As soon as the ice cube is placed in the cup of hot water the struggle of influence become evident. Simultaneously the ice cube begins to warm and melt, while the water in the cup begins to cool. This will happen until the ice cube has fully melted. At this point the ice cube and the water in the cup have reached a dynamic equilibrium of sorts and have achieve a temperature of around 79 degrees Fahrenheit depending on room temperature.

Now in this example, the influence each substance had on each other is of no consequence and can not really be looked at as neither good nor bad. However, in a real life setting, with each component being a real person in a relationship, the influence that each person has on the other can significantly effect the life of each person involved. What I want you to understand is that every relationship you have with someone in your life has the potential to damage your life progress and overall happiness if you let it. On the other hand, every relationship you have has just as great a potential to lift you to new levels of personal growth, achievement and overall happiness. This is great news! This means that you are in 100% control of who you choose to let into your circle of influence and can therefor start taking immediate action in surrounding yourself with OQP. Lets dig a little deeper.

I think its safe to say that all of us are currently engaged in several relationships in our current lives. Have you ever taken a step back and asked yourself, “What is this relationship doing for me?” or “What is this relationship doing TO me?” Heavy analysis of all of your current relationships, I’m hoping, will be an eye opening experience for you. You must ask yourself ” Does this person support me, encourage me, inspire me, love me, look out for me, respect me, advocate for me, listen to me, challenge me, motivate me, have compassion for me, teach me, believe in me, and complete me?” Or does this person “Defeat me, anger me, disrespect me, lie to me or about me, insult me, deflate me, drain me, frustrate me, discourage me, doubt me, limit me or crush my dreams?” I understand that sometimes your relationships are not always this black and white, however through careful evaluation you should be able to figure out if the relationship is having a more negative or more positive effect on you as a person.

You need to learn how to manage your current relationships, as well as the relationships you will form in the future. Only Quality People needs to become a way of life for you. You need to develop an automatic regulatory component in your very being, that allows you to surround yourself with the kindest, smartest, happiest, and most successful people you can find. This is absolutely detrimental to your success and is concept all of the most successful people in the world understand and employ.

You can either spend your life at the mercy of the negative influence of your relationships, or you can take control, and increase your chances for success by letting Only Quality People into your life. The choice is up to you.

I love you all and wish you the best of success.